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Stay in the journal. Choose a feeling, then open a reading.

I’m tired of auditioning.
Who put that label in charge?
My brain has 47 tabs open.
Can we stop replaying that?
I’ve got something to give. I think.
Full group chat. Nobody to call.
My “yes” is starting to sound cranky.
I’m tired. Is anything growing?
Everything keeps changing. I need something steady.

A page from the journal · Day 82 of 90

God Can Sit Beside the Spreadsheet

Open your Bible: Psalm 16

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Room for lament82 / 90

At 2 a.m., you start doing the future in your head. Who will drive you home after a procedure? Who will notice if you fall? You can make a spreadsheet for the practical questions. You also need somewhere to bring the fear underneath them.

David calls the Lord "my portion and my cup" (verse 5). In Israel, land was divided by lot, and every tribe received a portion, except Levi, the priestly tribe. To Aaron God said, "I am your share and your inheritance" (Numbers 18:20).

David says his real portion is God Himself. Then he adds, "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places" (verse 6). That's a bold thing to say about a life you did not design. David's lines were land. Yours are your circumstances, your family and your season, and they fall within God's care.

He is at your right hand in every one of them, and He is not going anywhere. The psalm ends in joy: "you will fill me with joy in your presence" (verse 11). That joy is available right where your boundary lines fall.

Yes, there. Even with the spreadsheet tab open.

An honest prayer

God, be my steady portion as I plan. Help me receive Your presence without demanding certainty.

A question to sit with

What future fear needs practical planning and honest prayer?

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What future fear needs practical planning and honest prayer?

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About this adaptation

Adapted for Soul Snacks from Beloved, Really, Day 82. Original devotion: I Will Not Be Shaken. Original full-edition PDF pages 243–244. This is an edited web adaptation, rather than a verbatim book excerpt. The featured verse is also provided as accessible text beside the graphic.

Prepared as an editorial draft. No publication date has been assigned.

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