You wake up on the couch, still in your shoes. Before you have eaten, you are drawing conclusions about your faith, your usefulness, and whether you have let everyone down. Pause long enough to notice how tired you are.
In 1 Kings 19, Elijah is in deep despair and asks God to let his life end. The account is serious. God's care includes sleep, food, water, and attention to the journey ahead.
Give your body the care you have been postponing, and let someone know how you are. A meal and rest may help; they aren't a complete answer to every kind of distress. If you feel unsafe or unable to keep yourself safe, seek immediate human support and urgent help. You deserve care before everything is explained.
A question to sit with
What basic need have I ignored while criticizing myself for struggling?
You can take this slowly.